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When I said I'd follow the first 18 people who tweeted my name, over 700 responded. #yeah #18werechosen #madwithtwitterpower ∞ -
PIRANHA 3D has so much nudity and violence, I didn't know whether to masturbate or masturbate. #publictheater ∞
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Hey everyone at TORQUE at @cinefamily in L.A. last night! I've decided on the 5:00 PIRANHA 3D at the Grove today. 46 mins from now. GO ∞
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Ok, I'm at 420 now. Whenever I want to ad someone new, someone will get cut. Good luck to everybody! #andthanksforfollowing #seriously ∞
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I'm going to temporarily follow the next 18 people who put @dougbenson in a tweet because I want to be following 420 people. #really ∞
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BP, the cash you're spending on ads about how you're helping people in the Gulf would be better spent actually helping people in the Gulf. ∞
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Hey AZ and FL, don't forget to vote for the lesser a-hole in the primaries tomorrow. #allpolsareaholes ∞
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I'm told you can get HYPOCRITICAL OAF on 8/30 (a day early!) and for just $3.99 (!) here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004022ZLQ. ∞
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Guess what I did? #terriblesuicicdenotes ∞
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Need toiler paper. #terriblesuicidenotes ∞
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I was just reading about Untamed Vajayjays in Cosmopolitan. #terriblesuicidenotes ∞
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RT @Just_Curtis @DougBenson When are you going to do a show in Chicago? A: Does Zanies at 4:20 on Oct. 3 work for you? #oragainstyou ∞
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You're welcome! And BLOCKED RT @richie721 @DougBenson Thanks for convincing me to see Scott Pilgrim in theaters!!! It was incredible ∞
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I'm backstage at the Knitting Factory in Boise on the couch where Nate Shelman confronted me in THE HIGH ROAD. No Shelman sighting tonight. ∞
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I will have 90,000 followers soon. Don't let it intimidate you. Keep sending me dickbag messages. #youdickbag ∞
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Flatbtead Community Oven is where I'm having my afterparty tonight. #sixthandmain #Boise #tipamanda ∞
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I'm only going to do straight porn and gang bangs. #bestlaidplans ∞
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My porn name is going to be Rick Bottom. Please RT ∞
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This bar I'm in looks like the set of a movie about a guy who has hit rock bottom. Or did so three weeks ago. ∞
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